Scriptuality

The Man

2011-11-06T07:54:00.004Z

More fun with the Letherbridge doctors - Thursday 10 November at 13:45 on BBC1.

Fatshe Leno La Rona

2011-09-26T09:45:00.003+01:00

It's all getting rather heavy in Doctors - murder, rotting corpses, police interviews etc etc.

So, pop along to Friday's episode for some fun and games with Mrs Tembe (oh, and another serial killer).

Life Extinct

2011-08-17T15:15:00.004+01:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Mr Roy Hudd !

Roy will playing a corpse in my next episode of Doctors on Friday 19 August at 13:45 on BBC1.

He does it very well.

Once Upon A Time...

2011-05-06T08:57:00.003+01:00

Incoming!

Monday afternoon. BBC1. Another Campbell episode of Doctors.

I haven't seen this one in advance, so I've no idea what it's like (except that I wrote the words, of course).

But it's not my normal comic confection. Or, if it is, then the chocolate's dark and slightly bitter.

Enjoy (hopefully).

Screnzy Update

2011-04-26T10:53:00.002+01:00

Well, that was a daft idea. Big new project, to be completed in the same month as a difficult Doctors commission, Easter, and the kids being off school. It was never going to happen!

So, I've postponed for a month, and I'll be holding my very own, personal Scriptfrenzy in May. This is a crafty move, because May is one day longer than April.

See you in June!

Script Frenzy

2011-03-31T16:39:00.004+01:00

Remember me?

Just a quick update. Haven't done one of those in many a long month.

Keeping busy with Doctors at the moment - see up there in the top right hand corner...

But have been ridiculously neglectful of spec projects. They're floundering at various stages between outline and second draft. And I'm feeling directionless.

So...

... although the timing is not auspicious (with a Doctors first draft due on Thursday, and rewrites thereafter), I'm having another go at Script Frenzy.

"Script What?!" Why, Script Frenzy, of course. Write a script from start to finish in April. It's a daft idea, but I'm going for it.

If you're doing it too, come along and say hello. My name's Paul C, and the project's called "Emperor"

It's the first part of a 6 part TV drama thing. Probably. We'll see.

What with Doctors and the fact that I don't have much more than a concept at the moment, I probably won't start Scene One until halfway through the month. I'll report back here on 1st May and let you know whether I reached FADE OUT.

Snow Will Clear By Next Tuesday

2010-12-01T12:42:00.003Z

I can most definitely assure everyone in the Letherbridge area that the snow will have completely cleared by Tuesday 7 December.

That day's episode of Doctors will feature a mild sunny climate without a trace of all this horrible white stuff.

And I know this because I have seen the episode in advance.

And I have seen the episode in advance because I wrote it.

I like this episode, and what they've done with it. It's all lighthearted nonsense (apart from the really grim bits), so make a note in the calendar, set your recorders, and enjoy some snow-free frivolity next Tuesday.

Healer

2010-08-02T11:38:00.002+01:00

There's life in the old blog yet...

Here I am, popping up to tell anyone who still ventures this way that I have a 30-minute story to tell on BBC1 tomorrow.

It's an episode of Doctors called "Healer", and it's at 13:45 on Tuesday 3 August.

It'll be on iPlayer for a week or so, if you miss it live.

Guild BBC TV drama event - Wednesday 2nd June

2010-06-01T11:10:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow night. I'll be there.

Anyone else planning on going?

Dr John Snow

2010-04-26T11:37:00.006+01:00

So, I've been messing around with a script for a biopic of John Snow. It's getting there, though I had no idea when I started quite how challenging it can be to create a story from historical facts. You'd think it would make things so much easier - there's a great story about the guy who discovered the cause of cholera, and it's all true - all you have to do is put it on paper. Hah!

Anyway, for anyone who's been wondering what I've been up to, and who doesn't know who Snow was, then there's a five minute summary of the facts in the middle of the second episode of BBC4's "Maps: Power, Plunder and Possession." (I think they had as much trouble as I am finding a snappy title - I'm running with "The Communication of Cholera" for the present)

What it doesn't tell you, is that three of those black bars marking the cholera deaths in Soho, marked the demise of three of my great great great aunts and uncles. Which is what led me to this story in the first place.

BBC WA 2010

2010-04-08T10:58:00.002+01:00

Look, I really don't need the competition. There are hundreds of ex-Bill writers out there stealing commissions from under my nose, and the last thing hard-working, talented writers (like myself) need right now is another bunch of BBC Writers' Academy graduates elbowing their way into all the best writing jobs.

But, seeing as how the application forms are out now, I might as well point people in the right direction. It's going to happen anyway. And, maybe, when one of the new intake rises to the dizzy heights of Consulting Producer / Lead Writer on EastEnders, he or she will remember who showed them where the application form could be found.

Separated at Birth

2010-04-02T15:46:00.005+01:00

It's an exciting Easter weekend on the BBC.

So, to celebrate my upcoming EastEnders double (tonight and Monday) and the imminent arrival of a New Who (Saturday), here's a special Scriptuality lookalike feature.

Can you tell them apart?

Copyright BBC

Matt Smith as The 11th Doctor

Copyright BBC

Liam Bergin as the Umpteenth Mitchell

EasterEnders

2010-03-30T14:21:00.003+01:00

Making plans for the Easter break?

Don't forget to set the VCR/digibox for EastEnders on Good Friday. Oh, and make that Easter Monday too.

Two episodes penned by me. May they give you as much pleasure to watch as they gave me to write.

ALCS

2010-02-28T00:08:00.003Z

One of the best things about finally getting my first commissions was the idea that I could call myself a professional writer. That's a little sad, I know. But who wouldn't get a kick from taking that significant step.

And part of that, for me, involved getting an IMDB entry. Becoming a "proper" member of the WGGB. And signing up to the Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society (ALCS).

Getting those first little payments through was delightful. I believe I may even have blogged, in the excitement.

But the amazing thing is that the money keeps rolling in. It's still not a fortune, but it's beginning to add up to significant sums of money.

Now, I don't say this to boast about my new-found wealth. I say this because I have been shocked to discover writers who haven't joined. This is money for old rope. It costs not a penny to join. And, if you've ever had anything commissioned for the tellybox, then there's probably a small purse with your name on it waiting to be collected.

Don't delay. Join ALCS today.

Wise words.

2010-01-09T08:51:00.003Z

I've never really given much advice on how to be a screenwriter. I've never really felt qualified.

But I do now have a very useful tip for anyone reading this who is, or who wants to be, a professional writer. Or an amateur. Or, actually, anyone who might not want to be a writer at all. In fact, everyone.

And my tip is...

... read Phill Barron's blog post on The Road to Happiness.

He has wise words to say. Which is more than I ever manage.

Jimmy McGovern Interview

2009-11-10T10:24:00.002Z

The BBC Writers' Room has an interview with Mr Jimmy McGovern.

I don't always agree with the man, but he has some interesting stuff to say - well worth ten minutes of your time.

And I did like this bit...

Q. For many writers the thought of going to write on a continuing drama series makes them worry they are going to lose their individuality, their voice, who they are. What would you say to that?

A. Get real. You should be so lucky. There are brilliant writers on Coronation Street, on EastEnders. I know sometimes it can look naff, but that's often down to other things. These are really good writers. If you get the chance to write something that goes out in front of eight million, nine million people, how dare you turn your nose up at that? You should give your right arm for it. I loved and hated the show I worked on. But mostly I loved it.

If you get the chance to write for a soap opera the first thing you do is fall in love with it and every single character on it. Okay hate them as well but love them and live and breathe it. Eat and sleep it. Be ever so grateful that you've got the chance to do this. Then eventually after eight, nine, ten years you might get the chance to do a single drama and that's your chance.

Not sure about the eight, nine or ten years though!

Ten Million

2009-11-03T13:23:00.005Z

Last night's EastEnders had 9.45 million viewers. And almost reached 10m once the BBC3 repeat is added in.

And there's still the weekend omnibus broadcast to go.

Plus anyone who ends up watching it in Ireland, or America, or anywhere else it's shown.

Ten million people.

Numbers like this just leave me gobsmacked.

EastEnders - Now and Then

2009-10-29T20:03:00.002Z

Just a quickie...

I have an EastEnders coming up on Monday. Some lovely Archie and Janine stuff.

And, as you might have noticed if you've been keeping an eye on that little box up there on the right hand side, I've just been commissioned for another one. But it won't hit the screen until 2 April next year.

Small Brown Bird - for real

2009-10-23T21:52:00.004+01:00

A long time ago, when I was much younger than I am today, I wrote a little romantic comedy called Small Brown Bird. It never got made, but it was optioned for a while and it opened a few doors for me. I blogged about it quite recently here.

It was about a naturalist and a fanatical birdwatcher brought together by the unexpected arrival of a rare migrant never before seen in the UK - an Eastern Crowned Warbler.

I did a lot of research into rare birds before deciding that my rare migrant would be an Eastern Crowned Warbler. It had to be inconspicuous, but attractive. And it had to be something that would really make any self-respecting twitcher sit up and take note.

The whole script was written on the basis that this species had never before turned up in this country.

And now...

... it has.

Aaaargh!

I know the chances of my little script ever being picked up was always pretty minimal, but now, if it does, I'll have to go right back to the very beginning and find a new "small brown bird" to base the whole thing on.

I'm very upset.

But I'm also very pleased to see that thousands of twitchers are indeed heading north to see this little creature. Just like in my script.

Wouldn't it be nice if, amongst the thousands, at least two of them find love as well. Just like in my script.

Ukraine Has Talent

2009-10-13T13:03:00.000+01:00

Wonderful stuff...

Wireless-less

2009-09-22T11:25:00.004+01:00

I think I might have mentioned that I work in a shed in the garden.

When we knocked down the garage, re-did the patio and erected said shed, we arranged for a power cable to be buried under the concrete and supply all the electrical stuff I'd need. But I simply didn't think about Internet access. I thought I'd manage on a wireless connection.

And I did. But it's very patchy. I've tried different versions, and moved the equipment around, and have got fed up with the slow amd intermittent service that results.

And then someone suggested I buy a couple of these...

It's a HomePlug AV adapter, and a pair of them now deliver my broadband connection through that buried power cable under the patio.

After all the fuss and bother of secure wireless, there's something beautiful about this technology. It's plug and play... quite literally. It took less than ten minutes to install and get running. After a couple of weeks, I can say that it's quicker and more reliable.

So, that's a recommend. It's not wireless, of course. You can't use it to access your laptop on the kitchen table. But if you want access around the house, but don't want telephone cables everywhere, and can't be bothered with wireless...

"I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script"

2009-09-15T09:42:00.002+01:00

You've seen this already, of course. Josh Olsen's curt explanation for why he will not read your fucking script.

But have you heard Harlan Ellison reading the Dr Seuss version, scripted by a genius by the name of Steve Jarrett?

You should. It will put a smile on your face that will last all day.

Newsflash !

2009-09-15T09:02:00.003+01:00

News just in from Campbell Mansions...

...I've sprained my ankle.

Did it playing badminton at the local Adult Education College. It made a lovely "crack" as I went over. They insisted on calling an ambulance (never been in one before, apart from for research purposes). Nearly three hours in Casualty. Three-minute examination from bored doctor and advice to take Nurofen.

I think that's enough excitement for one day.

Ready when you are, Mr Moffat

2009-08-06T08:39:00.003+01:00

Like many writers (I imagine), I have various pleasant daydreams which I indulge in from time to time. One of my favourite is the one where my agent rings to tell me that Steven Moffat's been on the phone. He's seen my latest episode of EastEnders and (inexplicably) thinks I'd be just right for Dr Who.

OK, so it's pure unadulterated fantasy. But a guy can dream.

The only problem with this particular piece of escapism is that the daydream never stops there. It always continues. And, before I know it, Mr Moffat has called me in for a meeting, and I have to pitch him a story outline. And, at this point, my fantasy descends into the stuff of nightmares as I flail around hopelessly, waffling about time-travel paradoxes and generally cocking up the greatest (fantasy) opportunity I've ever (not) been given.

But not any more.

I got stuck in a minor rut yesterday on my spec project. Nothing serious, but it was evident that nothing good was going to emerge onto the page for the rest of the day. So, I decided to put it to one side for an afternoon and work on something completely different.

And I found my Dr Who story.

OK, so the chances of Steven Moffat picking up the phone are just a tad remote. But, you never know. One day, in some strange parallel universe, it might just happen. And when it does, parallel me will be ready.

I've got a Dr Who story to knock his socks off!

Waterstones and Roger Morris

2009-07-09T15:07:00.004+01:00

Look what just appeared in my Outlook In-tray...

An advert from Waterstones. And the gentleman on the far right trying his very best to do a Kevin Spacey impression is the excellent Mr Roger Morris of Crouch End.

Well worth a read. And very nice to see him popping up in my e-mail.

Deadline...

2009-06-28T09:43:00.001+01:00

Unashamedly stolen from Robin Kelly's blog...

Reynolds and Hamilton

2009-06-23T09:56:00.003+01:00

Alistair Reynolds has signed a ten-book deal with Gollancz worth £1m.

For Mr Reynolds, this is obviously rather good news.

If you have never heard of him, then it will mean next to nothing.

But, if you have read any of his work, then I suspect you'll be cheering him from the sidelines. Personally, I'm looking forward to all ten of them. There's nothing like a great big chunk of space opera to wile away the odd month or two.

Talking of which, I'm currently catching up with the Void Trilogy. Today's award for the fattest space operas ever goes to Peter F Hamilton. You'll never recover the time you spend ploughing through his work, but you won't regret it either.

Primeval

2009-06-15T14:51:00.002+01:00

What?!

ITV have cancelled Primeval.

I stopped watching The Bill through lack of time.
I never watched Heartbeat anyway.
The Royal never seemed my kind of thing.

But now they've cancelled Primeval.
Now I'll never know how they get down from that tree and back home to the present.

Just when it was getting good.

It had a 25% audience share. 4-5 million. And I bet it was a desirable demographic.

What's going on?

Small Brown Bird

2009-06-09T09:45:00.005+01:00

I've just read a good news story over at David Lemon's blog about a film called The Hide.

A film about listers ("twitchers" to the less than savvy) - imagine that! Sounds excellent.

(photograph copyright Robin Newlin)

And then I realised that I have never blogged about my own lister movie that never quite made it to the big screen.

Small Brown Bird was my third attempt to write a screenplay (one day I'll tell you about Musclebound Hero and Glen Haggis). It got me my first (token) option fee, and an introduction to a BBC producer. That producer introduced me to my agent, and got me writing for Doctors. And, somewhere along the line, I'm pretty sure it played a part in getting me into the BBC Writers' Academy.

So, although it never got made, I am extremely fond of Small Brown Bird.

The option ran out years ago. But, as birding movies are clearly in the zeitgeist, allow me to pimp it one more time...

Sylvia’s social life is about as barren as the wildlife reserve she manages, until a rare migrant bird tempts several hundred birdwatching men into her remote and fragile world, including Henry - an investment analyst, renowned warbler expert and confirmed bachelor.

If anyone's interested in a low-budget, rural, romantic comedy about a lost Phylloscopus coronatus, give me a call.

Star Trek Movie is Disappointment

2009-05-14T10:47:00.002+01:00

Personally, I thought it was pretty marvelous.

But go here and find out why true fans are so disappointed with the new Star Trek film.

Enjoy.

Shaw's Shed

2009-05-12T14:28:00.007+01:00

Thanks to the wonderful folks at Shedworking for this.

Apparently, George Bernard Shaw worked from a shed in his garden.

And here it is...

Not so very different from my own little place, I'm sure you'll agree.

Writers' Academy Reminders

2009-04-30T12:09:00.003+01:00

Two reminders...

For anyone thinking of applying, a reminder that the deadline is imminent (5 May, I think).

And for me, I got a nice reminder yesterday of my time at Borehamwood in the form of an Article by Ellie Baldock in TwelvePoint.com. She came along for a day while I was doing the classroom part of the Academy, took a few pictures, asked a few questions, and sat in on the day's lectures and exercises. It's a great article, and well worth a read if you're not sure whether or not to apply this year.

TwelvePoint.com is a subscription site, so I can't link to the article, but the annual fee is a snip at not-very-much and worth it for this article alone!

In the meantime, here's a picture which I have unashamedly lifted from Ellie's article - I'm sure she won't mind!

That was fun.

2009-04-22T10:17:00.002+01:00

I ever so slightly enjoyed last night.

Thank you to those intrepid writers who ventured into south London's leafy suburbs to join me in my self-indulgent viewing. Wot a lark!

Nuff Sed.

2009-04-20T12:09:00.002+01:00

Nothing to do with scriptwriting...

2009-04-20T11:29:00.003+01:00

As part of my daily routine of procrastination I usually check out The Astronomy Picture of the Day.

A new picture each day. Stunning stuff. Awe-inspiring, in the true sense of the word. And huge - images of entire galaxies, or starscapes showing whole clusters of galaxies. Wonderful. And really helps put any minor problems I might have into perspective. All in all, I treat it as my own personal Total Perspective Vortex.

Anyway, today's image is not on quite the same scale. It's relatively close to home. This picture shows barchan sand dunes on the surface of Mars. I just think it's beautiful.

The Dover Castle

2009-04-16T17:40:00.004+01:00

It's a pub. An ordinary London pub.

Who would have guessed that some of Britain's finest scriptwriting minds gather there from time to time? And that so much wisdom is shared so selflessly within its unassuming walls?

Honestly, if the controllers, commissioners, producers, directors, script editors and critics of this world could only have access to the collective insights we shared last night, then British (nay, global) television would truly enter a Golden Age.

Opening the Genre Floodgate

2009-04-02T10:37:00.004+01:00

Ben Stephenson (him at the Beeb) has been widely quoted for a Broadcast interview in which he said, inter alia, "We'll also be focusing on how we can reinvent genre drama like crime and to a lesser extent sci-fi." See here for a bit of context.

Well, funnily enough, Ben, I'm working on something in that kind of area right now. Give me a few weeks to polish it, and all your problems are solved!

Except that I have a feeling there might be one or two other writers out there who think they've got a crime/sci-fi reinvention that'll tickle his fancy.

Mine's the one you want, Ben. Drop me a line, and we'll do lunch.

Starting

2009-03-26T14:00:00.004Z

OK, so I've been working on my spec project, Project X (I must stop calling it "Project X" or people will start thinking that's what it's called. From now on it's "OPFK").

It's 6 x 60 minutes. Series with a wee bit of serial. Post-watershed. Genre. Think CSI meets Minority Report meets Casualty meets... hmm.

Anyway, the intention was to write a pilot. A first episode.

But you have to know where you're going, right? And you have to know the world inside out. And you have to be confident that you've got enough stories to fill six hours of prime time television to bursting point. With something in reserve for Series Two.

So, I've been working on the outlines of a Series Bible - character sketches, story outlines, fleshing out the world of OPFK, tying down the structure of a typical episode.

It's been fun. And, the more I do it, the richer it all becomes. But, sooner or later, I have to do some actual real proper writing.

I love this concept. I love the stories. And I really can't wait to start writing it. So why, now the moment has come, do I feel reluctant to get started?

TV's James Moran reveals the Big Secret

2009-03-17T09:37:00.004Z

Finally, the world's most productive, workaholic screenwriter has found the time to finish his long-awaited Q&A.

If you've come to Scriptuality looking for advice, you're in the wrong place. So, just pop over to James' place and get the complete picture. All truth is here.

Okay, this is a closely held secret, that all of us professionals try to keep you from discovering, but I'm going to break the code of silence and tell you: TV/film producers are looking for GOOD STUFF. That's it. Don't waste time wondering what genre or type of story is "in" right now, as by the time you write it, sell it, get it made and released, something else will be "in". Any time a producer or channel says "we're not looking for X, and Y doesn't work", ignore it - if they got a script that was fucking amazing, about X *and* Y, they'd snap it up. Things don't work until they do. The second you start trying to tailor something to the market, your script will suffer. If you have a story to tell, something you're dying to get out into the world, write that. Write from the heart, put your soul, blood, sweat and tears into it. And it'll get you noticed (if it's good, obviously). Producers want to see your original voice, not something you think they want, or a carbon copy of whatever's popular at the moment.

James Moran 2009.

Who's the Daddy?

2009-03-09T10:14:00.002Z

No blogging for the last month or so.

And no writing either (so much for February being "Spec Script Month"!)

I've been Daddy instead. Carolyn went back to work for a few weeks to remind herself of what it's like, and to remind the Department that she still exists and will be with them again in November.

So, I stayed at home, did the school run, looked after the little-un, etc. It was fun, but quite exhausting in its own way. And I'm quite relieved to be back at the keyboard this morning.

Now, where was I...?

Project X

2009-01-30T10:51:00.002Z

February is looking like it's going to be "Write-a-spec-month".

So, I've waded through my ideas file, talked it all through with my wonderful agent, and settled on a project. I'm going to have a go at developing "Project X"

A while back on this Blog there was a moment of excitement as this idea came into being....

I've been working on this great idea for a TV Series. Let's call it Project X. I'm excited about it. I'd watch it. But I have a sneaking suspicion that nobody else would. Still, I'm seeing what happens, doing a bit of research, letting it bed down.... I'll just let this one gel/brew/stew/bubble/mature and see if there's still anything worth the pitch when I get back to it.

And now, here I am, getting back to it. It's a bit way out, so I need to do some serious work to see whether it has legs, or whether it's just daft. ANd it's completely on spec.

Obviously, it's all terribly Top Secret. But I can tell you that it's not comedy, nor is it gritty drama. It is "genre television". Daft term, really. Everything on telly is one genre or another. But anything with a hint of sci-fi, fantasy or the supernatural seems to get labelled "genre TV" - and that's where I'm heading with Project X.

Wish me luck.

The Bill, Heartbeat, The Royal

2009-01-28T12:36:00.002Z

The Bill's being cut by 50%.

Heartbeat and The Royal are being wound up.

That's a lot of regular work just gone down the drain. It might not be my work, but there's a whole bunch of writers who would have been writing those shows, earning a living and paying the mortgage. Now, they're going to be looking elsewhere - in the same places I'm looking.

Not good news.

Unforgiven

2009-01-17T11:01:00.005Z

Just caught up with this on ITV's sorry excuse for an iPlayer.

Pretty darn good (the drama, not "ITV Catch Up", which I notice is now branded itvPlayer - that's shameless!)

But what made me really jealous was the simplicity of the the premise. I've been spending some time recently trying to come up with new ideas for TV drama. It's almost always doomed to failure. My best ideas tend to just happen when I'm not looking, so sitting down with pen and a blank sheet of paper trying to be spontaneous doesn't often produce the goods.

Or, it does. And I think I've got the next big thing. And then I look again a few days later and all I have is some convoluted mish mash that's impossible to pitch.

But...

Imagine a 15 year-old girl put away for the cold-blooded murder of two policemen. Flash forward 17 years, and what happens when she's let out?

That is such a great idea.

Can't wait for Part 2.

EDIT...

I've just read in Broadcast that Sally Wainwright "dreamt the story one night in 2007". So, there I was expressing my admiration for the clarity of her vision and wishing I could replicate it, and it was all a dream! I think I'll spend the afternoon in bed.

Widow-To-Be

2009-01-13T22:55:00.002Z

Just a quickie...

I have an episode of Doctors going out tomorrow (Wednesday) on BBC1 at 13:45.

It's called Widow-To-Be.

Enjoy (or not).

Next month...

2009-01-07T15:15:00.002Z

I have nothing lined up for next month. No work. No commissions. No nothing.

On the one hand, this is a bad thing. Work is good. Not having any is not so good.

On the other hand, I haven't written anything of my own for a very long time. You won't catch me complaining about the Writers' Academy, but I have been immersed in Doctors, Casualty, Holby City and EastEnders for a year and a half now. It's been great, but I do miss having the freedom to just write whatever I want.

February is still a few weeks away, and you never know what might turn up. But a part of me is hoping that nothing does. I feel the need for a Spec script...

Thanks for all the fish.

2008-12-12T14:30:00.005Z

Something's been bothering me.

You might have noticed that I didn't have much to say about my EastEnders experiences. And that I got through an episode of Holby City with scarcely a single blog entry.

In fact, I've said nothing much of any interest for a while.

There is a reason for this.

It isn't that my experiences on those two shows were so awful that I couldn't write about them. Far from it.

It's because I'm beginning to think it's no longer appropriate. Maybe even that it's not very "professional". There, I said it.

This Blog has been all about me - my attempts to break into the industry. And hopefully it has been useful reading for others in the same boat.

But this isn't a private discussion over a beer in The Dover Castle. It's a public blog. And, increasingly, I'm finding that I have a wider readership than I ever expected to get. I'll introduce myself to someone in the industry and they'll say "Ah, Scriptuality". Or "I like your shed". Or "how are the kids?"

Well, I don't mind that. It's quite fun. And it raises my profile as a writer (though not always in a positive light).

But sometimes I put myself in the position of a script editor asked to work with a writer who's a blogger. How happy would I be at the idea that all the ups and downs in the relationship, all the inevitable frustrations of hammering out a TV script are put up on the web for all to see?

OK, so I don't name names. But everyone else who works with them knows who they are.

And, genuinely, I have been extremely lucky to have had a succession of lovely, wonderful script editors on the shows I've worked on so far. And not one of them has ever complained about my blogging. Thank you, one and all. From time to time I might have disagreed with a note or two, but you have taught me so much.

I don't know whether blogging about the work we've done together has always been entirely fair. If it ever felt awkward, thank you for hiding it so well. And, I'm sorry.

But one of these days I'm going to be unlucky. I'm going to get a script editor who I just don't get on with. Or someone who takes every comment I might make personally.

So, I have come to a decision - no more running commentary.

I'll still pop up from time to time to let anyone who's still interested know what I'm up to. And I might comment on general writing issues. But no more heart-on-my-sleeve descriptions of the inner workings of TV scriptwriting. Sorry.

It's been fun.

So, what's it like being a writer...?

2008-12-03T10:25:00.001Z

Find out, here.

Writers' Rooms

2008-12-01T09:25:00.002Z

Just came across this article on the BBC.

It's a slide show of photos by Eamonn McCabe from an exhibition at Madison Contemporary Art running from 3 December - 17 January.

The pictures are portraits of writers. Without the writers. All we see are the rooms they write in.

Wonderful.

21 April 2009

2008-11-28T16:46:00.003Z

Just got news of a second Eastenders commission - hurrah!

It's for 21 April 2009. Which is a Tuesday. The same night as Holby City. And guess who the writer is on that particular episode of Holby?

As Mr Moran would say, "Oh, how embarrassing. It's me."

Yes indeed. Tuesday 21 April 2009 is Paul Campbell Night on BBC1. My second ep of EastEnders, followed immediately by my first (and possibly only!) ep of Holby City. An hour and a half of Campbell fun and frolics.

Er...

2008-11-27T13:49:00.003Z

Nothing much to say.

Just checking in, really.

Busy, busy, busy on that Holby script for the last few months. Draft #5 is currently with the head honcho. Fingers crossed.

Looks as though I should have entered the Red Planet competition this year - they seem to have given free passes to almost every blogger who applied*. So, they're all into the next round, and the knives will come out. Now we'll really see just how supportive the blogosphere is when the chips are really down! There can be only one.

I told you there wasn't much to say.

* Rapid edit and grovelling apology to anyone who might conceivably have taken this the wrong way - I wouldn't want to suggest in any way or form that those who successfully got through didn't do so entirely on their merits. I'm delighted for all of them and share in their excitement. Really, I do. Honest Injun.

New PC

2008-11-21T10:21:00.002Z

OK, it's dead.

The DELL PC I've been using quite happily for the last three years or so has given up the ghost. It still tries, but it spends most of its time just whirring away in some senile digital dementia.

So, the question is, what do I replace it with? Answers on a postcard, please. Or, better still, in the comments.

I know, I know... You're all going to blame me for buying a DELL in the first place! Well, I'm sorry, but I like DELL. They're easy to deal with, cheap, and (so far) they've worked just fine. I have another here in the garden office which (so far) has caused me no problems at all.

And I have this theory that, whatever computer you buy, you have no guarantee where the bits inside were sourced at the moment when you choose to buy. The brand is just a brand. Inside any PC there's a whole load of stuff sourced from all over the far east, with a different combination every time depending on who's got the best wholesale deal going at the time. Buy a SUPERBRAND based on a friend's recommendation, and you'll find that most of the stuff inside is now sourced from somewhere completely different.

But, for what it's worth, I need a recommendation. What should I go for? Name me the brands that have given you good experiences in the past. Shame those that haven't.

And please don't tell me I need an Apple Mac. I can't face the complications (yes, I know they're meant to be easier, but it's just too complicated when everyone else I'll be sharing material with has a PC).

8,840,000

2008-11-07T13:02:00.003Z

Imagine a queue of people stretching from New York City to Los Angeles.

Or imagine Wembley Stadium filled to capacity every single day for three months.

According to Broadcast, that's how many people watched my episode of EastEnders.

It was the eighth most popular thing on British television that week, beaten only by The X Factor, three episodes of Coronation Street, Strictly Come Dancing, Thursday's hour-long EastEnders special, and, wonderfully, Antiques Roadshow.

8.84 million people.

36.76% of all people watching TV in the UK at the time.

Plus a few more watching the omnibus, or catching up on iPlayer.

If they sat down and watched it one at a time, they'd still be watching in five hundred years time.

Of course, only about 6 of them were watching because they knew it was my episode.

That's a queue of people stretching all the way from my front door to... the bottom of the steps.

Sketchy Analysis

2008-11-07T09:39:00.003Z

A bit of fun (discovered courtesy of Mr Beckley).

Sketch a scene. A mountain, a road and some trees. Answer a few questions. ...and your personality is laid bare for all the world to see.

Why not have a go yourself?

The results of your analysis say:

You are driven and ambitious and tend to make radical moves to reach your goals.
You are a thoughtful and cautious person. You like to think about your method, seeking to pursue your goal in the most effective way.
You like following the rules and being objective. You are precise and meticulous, and like to evaluate decisions before making them.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.
What does your drawing say about YOU?

Personally, I think it doesn't take much psychoanalysis to decide that the dominant trait in anyone taking this test is procrastination.

EastEnders debrief

2008-11-04T09:53:00.002Z

Sorry for the silence everyone. We've been on holiday to not-so-sunny Sussex and got back at the weekend. Then straight into a marathon notes session on my second draft of Holby.

Thank you so much for all the nice comments (and the delightful gift that came through the post from a certain generous blogger).

I was delighted with the episode and can't wait to have another go. OK, so I thought Peggy's costume could have been a bit classier. The gunshot could have been louder. And they added one line (only one!) which I absolutely hated. But everything else was glorious (well, OK, it was just an episode of EastEnders, but I enjoyed it).

And those weird helicopters at the end... Don't know where they came from because they definitely weren't in the script. A bit OTT, really. Actually, I was there on set when they shot those scenes with the police raid etc, and they had real sound problems with aeroplanes constantly flying overhead. So, maybe the sound quality was bad and they decided to hide the sound of planes with the sound of a chopper? Who knows?

Apparently, a couple of clips even made it onto Harry Hill - so there's fame for you! Do you think I get a repeat fee?

It must be true...

2008-10-23T23:01:00.003+01:00

... it's in the Radio Times.

My first episode of EastEnders.

Monday 27th October.

8 o'clock. BBC1.

Don't miss it!

Paul has a brand new toy...

2008-10-15T09:47:00.005+01:00

Isn't it lovely?!

Click here for groovy pictures and a funky soundtrack.

The Maybe

2008-10-07T14:58:00.006+01:00

I'm just about to start writing my first episode of Holby City. Actually writing. Putting the words down on the page.

I got notes back on my treatment at the end of last week. Not bad. But they want some changes. And they themselves have made some changes to the storyline and the characters which means, in turn, that I have to make further changes to incorporate their changes.

And then, of course, there's the enormous gulf between the stuff you put down on a scene-by-scene treatment, and what you put into the script itself. As soon as you start thinking about writing those scenes you realise how hopelessly unrealistic your treatment was, and how unimaginative, and how... boring.

So, I've spent the last few days winding myself up to the point where I can take all that input (the treatment, the notes, the changes, and the realisation that it all needs more oomph) and channel it into an opening scene. And then I just hope to God that the momentum takes me forward and all the way through to the end.

Russell T, in his new book, talks about "the Maybe".

by the time I come to write, a lot has been decided. Also, a lot hasn't been decided, but I trust myself, and scare myself, that it'll happen in the actual writing. It all exists in my head, but in this soup. It's like the ideas are fluctuating in this great big quantum state of Maybe. The choices look easy when recounted later, but that's hindsight. When nothing is real and nothing is fixed, it can go anywhere. The Maybe is a hell of a place to live. As well as being the best place in the world.

Not that I'm comparing myself to the man himself, but I know what he means. As soon as you commit anything to paper, then you narrow down your options - the Maybe becomes a more restricted space. Every creative choice you make shuts off certain alleyways, guides the narrative away from... well, from who-knows-what? Who knows where the story might have gone if you hadn't made the choices you make?

The Maybe contains great stories. I mean really great stories. The best stories I or anyone else could possibly tell, the iconic myths of the future, are all contained in the Maybe. And every time you try to extract them, the result disappoints. It's prosaic. Boring. It doesn't live up to that vision of the story which floated around in the Maybe, goading you.

And that is why I procrastinate. It's why I'm writing this Blog rather than getting on with Scene 1. As soon as I write the opening words, I'm beginning the process of destroying the-story-that-never-was. Of course, I'm also beginning the process of writing the-story-that-will-be. It might not live up to my hopes and expectations, but it will actually exist on paper and, hopefully, on screen. The-story-that-never-was only exists in the Maybe, and it's the sacrifice I have to make if I'm going to produce this episode of Holby City.

But can you blame me for wanting to delay the destruction of something so beautiful, for the sake of something so flawed and mundane?

That song meme...

2008-09-30T17:14:00.002+01:00

I caught this off Sheikspear. Nasty contagious little meme-bug this one. Everyone seems to have had it. Thought I'd escaped. No such luck.

Not sure who to pass it on to - looks like most folks have acquired immunity by now. Hmm... this little lot don't seem to have suffered yet. I meme David, Stuart, Lara, William and Michelle.

“Find a song that sums up what you think it means to be a writer and post the lyrics on your blog and why you've chosen it. NB: It doesn't have to be your favourite song, it just has to express how you feel about writing and/or being a writer. It can be literal, metaphorical, about a particular form or aspect of writing - whatever you want. Then tag 5 others to do the same (reprint these instructions).”

Well, I'm with several other worthies out there, I don't really listen to music very much. And certainly not while I work.

So, there was a bit of headscratching involved for this. Something to express how I feel about writing. Hmm.

Writing... it's a collaborative effort, yeah? So, how about this...

Right Said Fred (Cup of Tea)(Myles Rudge, lyrics & Ted Dicks, music)

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together
One on each end and steady as we go."
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
Up comes Charlie from the floor below.
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles
And the things wot held the candles.
But it did no good, well I never thought it would
"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."

Took its feet off, even took the seat off
Should have got us somewhere but no!
So Fred said, "Let's have a cuppa tea."
And we said, "right-o."

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off
Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, " Have to take the wall down,
That there wall is gonna have to go."
Took the wall down, even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred,
I get a sort of feelin'
If we remove the ceilin'
With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."

"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow.
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome.
So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.

(I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it
Standing on the landing, that's all
Trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty
Never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")

(c)1962, by Myles Rudge (lyrics) & Ted Dicks (music)

A Smile

2008-09-29T12:11:00.003+01:00

God, that last post was a bit gloomy!

So, here's something to make you smile.

Those lovely people at Amazon have just sent me a copy of Russell T Davies' new book "The Writer's Tale". And, as I'm currently sitting waiting for notes on my Holby treatment, the temptation to peruse it a little was too great (well, it's work, isn't it? professional development).

Anyway, 30 pages in, and it's a delight. e-mail correspondence between himself and Benjamin Cook (journalist on Dr Who Magazine). An absolute complete and utter "must read" for any writer and/or Whovian out there.

And a lot to smile about.

But the particular nugget that made me grin like a monkey?

He's responding to a question about whether a character needs to be likeable...

"Likeability. I've been thinking about your question during Dancing on Ice (did I ever tell you, I was asked to be on that? Actually skating! Julie is still laughing to this day)"

If you've ever seen a picture of the man, you'll know why that would have been the best series of Dancing on Ice, ever.

Post Mortem

2008-09-29T10:02:00.004+01:00

Well, I watched it over the weekend...

And I enjoyed it.

And I'm full of admiration for Mr Paul Logue, who had the unenviable job of re-writing the script in about a week (or maybe two). He didn't even have the freedom of deciding what stories he wanted to tell. We were so close to shooting that the prosthetics were already made and, I suspect, the guest actors already cast. So, he had to have one story about an old woman and her two daughters involving a drug overdose, and another about two men and a woman during which one man gets his foot crushed/amputated and the other gets compartment syndrome and requires a fasciotomy. He also used my 'fish-hook in thumb' patient for Toby.

He also had all the same serial as me - Jordan arriving, Adam being pissed off, Ruth getting hot under the collar, Toby feeling threatened, Zoe off to the gynaecologist, Jeff and Dixie seeing the counsellor, Abs attending his mate's post mortem, and Charlie dealing with Abs.

So the skeleton of his episode had to be much the same as mine. But the flesh he put on those bones was very different.

Of course, there's a bit of me that wished he'd used more of my material. But he had his own episode to write, so I completely understand that he didn't want to start messing around cutting and pasting.

There's an even bigger part of me that wishes they'd just gone with my draft.

But these things happen. It's done and dusted. I have learned a huge amount in the process and next time, hopefully, things will be different.

So, thanks, Paul, for saving my bacon.

And here's to next time!

Casualty - 27 September 2008

2008-09-25T13:52:00.004+01:00

This weekend there's an episode of Casualty broadcast on the Beeb. It's the episode that I spent so long trying to get right.

I'm not sure I really want to watch it. It will have my name on it (I think), together with someone else's (I think). But, to be brutally honest, the someone else did most of the hard work (OK, I worked pretty hard on it too, but to very little effect!).

I think I might just watch it and play "spot the Campbell dialogue". I might have to watch very closely. I might even be on a hiding to nothing!

The episode title's mine, though. So that's at least two words of my script that made the cut!

Not that prolific. Not yet.

2008-09-21T09:31:00.003+01:00

I bumped into a neighbour yesterday. She asked how EastEnders was going and when she might see my name on screen.

I told her - Monday 27 October.

"Is that when you start?" she asked.

"That's the date my episode is being broadcast" I replied.

She looked bemused.

"I might be doing another one in December" I said, trying to impress. But it was too late. The damage was done. Now she knows that there are dozens of people writing for EastEnders, not just me.

I do like the idea that she thought I was carrying the entire weight of the BBC's flagship drama on my shoulders, sitting in my little shed knocking out four half-hour episodes a week.

On the other hand, she clearly doesn't think that writing a soap is anything like hard work.

Feeling Sociable?

2008-09-10T11:39:00.003+01:00

Are you a writer? Within reach of the South Bank? Not doing anything on Monday night?

Then why not come along to the Writers' Guild drinks party? No need to be a member (but you might get your ear bent if you're not)

Where: Royal Festival Hall Bar, on the South Bank (or outside if it's sunny)

When: From 6.30pm on Monday 15th September

If you fancy coming along, drop a quick note to Erik at the Guild to give him an idea of numbers. That's erik at writersguild dot org dot uk

Scriptualismicity

2008-09-08T20:48:00.002+01:00

If you've come here looking for some Scriptualism, then you've come to the wrong place.

But, if it's good old-fashioned Scriptuality that rocks your boat, then welcome aboard.

Room for plenty of scripty-blogs around here, Andy.

Talking of which, it's a very long time since I examined my Blog-roll (way down there on the right hand side). Don't know if some of those folks are still blogging. And there's some good stuff out there that I don't currently link to. Must do something about it. Sometime.

And must try to get one of those fancy versions like what Andy's got. You know, the sort that show when people have posted, like a mini-feed thingy. How do you do that, then?

Smart Arse

2008-09-05T09:41:00.002+01:00

That'll teach me to be such a know all.

Went to that Holby commissioning meeting yesterday, armed to the teeth with guest stories, character arcs, five-act structures and practically ready to cast my six guest actors.

But things change. Programmes move on. Styles shift.

Holby is moving towards less emphasis on the guest stories. Looking back on recent episodes, it should have been obvious, but I missed it. There are still guests, but many of them are written into the ongoing serial. Those that remain don't need to be mini-dramas - they're there to help out with the serial and spice it up a bit if needed.

Without giving plot away, I can tell you that three of my regular characters have relatives visiting them in my ep. Those three relatives take up half my guest cast.

And it's not 6 guests per episode, it's 12 per block of two. And the episode before mine (to be written by the lovely Abi Bown) needs seven, and she's intent on stealing one of mine.

So, I have two guest actors, and some vastly overdeveloped plots.

Back to the drawing board, methinks.

Holbyness

2008-09-03T12:22:00.003+01:00

Next April, on Tuesday the 21st, the BBC will be broadcasting episode 27 of the 11th series of their continuing drama series, Holby City.

Right now, that episode consists of nine pages of commissioning document. Let me take you through it...

On the front page it gives the names of the producer, script editor and researcher. Doesn't mention the writer, for some reason. It notes the shoot dates (15 Dec to 26 Jan - so they're shooting over Christmas and New Year) and the transmission date (21 April). And it gives the three main story locations - three different wards in the hospital. And in each of those locations, it tells me the name of the ongoing stories which make up this episode - catchy, shorthand titles for the three storylines.

And, for reasons which are not at all clear to me, the front page also informs me that the day of transmission is the Queen's 83rd birthday. Well, three cheers for Her Majesty!

The next two and a half pages tell me the A-story, broken down into five acts. It's quite a detailed account (almost scene by scene) of what happens to the main characters in one ward during this ep. This is the A-story, so this is the meat of my episode. It tells me about our characters and what's happening in their lives. And, as is often the case with A-stories, it's a crucial moment in the lives of one of them.

What it doesn't do, is tell me about any of their patients, or the medicine and surgery they get up [well, actually, in this particular instance it does a little, but only because it's directly relevant to what's happening with the regulars].

Then I get one and half pages of B-story, in five acts. We're on a different ward now, but it's much the same idea. This is what happens to the folks working in that part of the hospital. It's the B-story, so it's not as important as the A-story. It tells a mini-story of it's own, but it's not a big crucial moment in anyone's life. It's building momentum for an episode further down the line when these same characters will hit a crunch moment - and in that episode, they'll get the big A-story.

And finally, pootling along in the background, we have a page of C-story. Just three acts for this one. We're somewhere else again and, frankly, we're just keeping a story pot bubbling on a back burner. Quite often C-stories can feel a bit light, but that's almost how they're meant to be. You can't put huge emotional moments into a C-story because you're investing most of your effort and directing most of the audience's attention to the A-story. Often, the C-story will provide some light relief from all that serious emoting going on in the other Wards.

After the story outlines, there's two pages of notes describing each regular character and their "state of play" by the end of the episode. This is quite useful. I can look at the state of play of my characters at the end of the previous ep, then see where they start, and where I've got to get them before handing on the baton to the writer of the next episode (Abby Ajayi, in this case - a fellow student from my year in the BBC Academy).

And finally, there's a page or two of scheduling notes, letting me know which actors are available and whether there are any limitations on the sets I can use etc. Tedious stuff, but there's no point writing a great scene for Elliot if Paul Bradley (the actor who plays him) is on holiday the week they intend to shoot.

And my commissioning document comes packaged with episodes 24 to 29, so I get to see what happens before and after my episode. And the whole thing is stamped "Top Secret and Confidential" and is programmed to self-destruct ten seconds after I turn the last page. Cunningly, I have left it open on the penultimate page - clever, eh?

In all seriousness, these are very secret documents which is why I have told you what they look like without mentioning anything that happens. Even my passing reference to Elliot might have been a red herring.

Right now, this little document is all we have. Tomorrow I go to a commissioning meeting to discuss what happens next. I have to explain how I think these three stories can be made to work, I get to quiz the team on anything I haven't understood or anything that I think might cause problems, and I have to pitch a few ideas for "guest" stories that might go alongside our three regular stories.

This, I confess, is the bit that scares me. On Casualty, it was my guest stories that did for me. I need three stories (A, B and C, again) to set in each of the three wards. These stories will weave in and around the main stories I've already been given. They'll be medical, focused on the patients that our doctors and nurses are dealing with. They need to mesh with the serial, without being too clumsy in terms of "resonance". They need to be interesting, but not so much that they take away from the important serial stuff, and not too contrived or gimmicky. They must be self-contained because we've not seen these people before and we'll never see them again. And I've only got six guest actors (and a few non-speaking extras)to spread across the episode.

So, better get on with it. Can't waste the day away blogging.

Fun on the Square

2008-08-21T14:38:00.003+01:00

I'm just about to start my commission for Holby City. I've got the commissioning docs and I'm just trying to bury myself in old eps and let that whole Holby thing get into my bloodstream. Definitely looking forward to it. I popped into their offices yesterday to meet my lovely new script editor and to take another look around the sets.

And the reason I was there was because I went along to watch my EastEnders script being shot - yahoo! For those not in the know, both shows are shot at the BBC studios in Elstree.

It was great fun. Many thanks to all those involved in letting me hang around in the background and for humouring the writer. I particularly enjoyed watching the "drums" shot - the final scene of the episode where you hear the drums of the closing credits beating in the background.

I can't say much about what happened because it's all confidential. But I'll maybe blog a bit more about the whole process once it's been broadcast (27 Oct).

Sharps and Stuff

2008-07-30T10:06:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being invited into the hidden depths of Kent to meet up with the ten talented individuals who won the BBC's recent Sharps initiative. They're on their week-long residential course learning about all things teledramatic. Ceri Meyrick was giving a presentation on continuing drama and the Academy, and I got wheeled out as "and here's one we made earlier."

I'm afraid I didn't get a chance to read any of their work, but all you disappointed Sharps-applicants out there can take some small comfort from the thought that you were beaten by some very nice people.

Back in Walford, my script is about to turn "white", which means that the whole team is about to get their hands on my attempts at half an hour of life on The Square. They start shooting it in a fortnight's time and it hits the screen on 27 October. Put it in your diary.

... along with 14 January, which is the transmission date for my next Doctors ep - "Widow-To-Be". This was the script I wrote before Christmas as part of the Academy training. I hadn't looked at it since then, so it was a fairly surreal exercise last week to get notes on it from my script editor, who actually seemed to know the text better than I did.

Holby next. I have a commissioning meeting on 1 September. After my Casualty experience, I confess that I'm a bit nervous. But EastEnders went well, so I'm not totally crap. If anyone has any interesting hospital experiences that might segue nicely into an episode of Holby City, please drop me a line.

The Office

2008-07-24T19:28:00.006+01:00

I've been promising pictures of "The Office" for a while. Way back in November, I posted a preliminary report on the glorious construction in the garden. Well, we've finally moved into the digital age with the purchase of a new camera.

And now, we proudly present...

The writer in his lair.

Dr Horrible Rocks

2008-07-17T16:35:00.005+01:00

Well, he sings anyway.

Dr Horrible

Pure, unadulterated genius.

Watch it. Or regret it.

Yeah, I know. Been a bit thin on the ground, blogging-wise, recently. Not a problem. EE seems to be going OK. Enjoying it, in fact. But got nothing much I can share at the mo.

One of the things about EastEnders is that you get definite breaks while they cast their eyes over your work. So, I handed in draft number two on Monday, and they won't get back to me until Friday (probably). Which means I get a bit of time back to make up for the time spent writing over the weekend.

And I've been working on this great idea for a TV Series. Let's call it Project X*. I'm excited about it. I'd watch it. But I have a sneaking suspicion that nobody else would. Still, I'm seeing what happens, doing a bit of research, letting it bed down. I'll be back on the EastEnders horse over the weekend and most of next week, so maybe I'll just let this one gel/brew/stew/bubble/mature and see if there's still anything worth the pitch when I get back to it.

* It's not actually called "Project X", of course. You knew that.

RTD Speaks Wisely

2008-07-02T10:03:00.002+01:00

Russell T, as quoted recently by Jane Tranter,...

"I think it's really hard to say you love television. It's easy to stand up and say I love opera I love film I love theatre. And people say oh marvellous it's quite right… but it's hard to say you love television. If you do, you sound trivial, superficial, and I'm not. I'm clever. And I know what I'm talking about, and I think it's monstrously unsung as an art form..."

What a wise old owl.

Quarts Into Pint Pots

2008-06-26T12:58:00.003+01:00

I am discovering that one episode of EastEnders contains an awful lot of stuff.

And it's not very long.

"Come in late and get out quick" has never seemed so relevant.

Draft One is due in on Monday. A bit of pruning's required, I think.

Cheltenham Screenwriters' Festival

2008-06-25T09:42:00.002+01:00

I'm not going to Cheltenham this year.

I've been for the last two years, and it's a great experience. I'm sure everyone going next week will have a great time.

So, why not me?

Mainly, I was worried about whether I'd have the time. I've been given this fantastic opportunity to write three BBC shows this year, and I don't want to cock it up. It all went a bit pear-shaped on Casualty, so it really doesn't make sense to go and spend three days of mild inebriation in Cheltenham when the second draft of EastEnders is needed.

But also ,when the flyers first started coming around, I got a slight sense of deja vu. It was the same old speakers on the same old topics. At that stage, the programme seemed a bit light. I'm really not interested in the Code of Practice (yawn). And I don't need another inspirational talk from Julian Fellowes (wonderful, though he is).

I was tempted by the presence of Terry Pratchett. But it would have caused me pain. I love his books and have a complete shelf-full. But the cartoon version of his Witches books was terrible. And the Sky productions of The Hogfather and The Colour of Magic were some of the worst television storytelling I have ever witnessed - truly awful. So, did I really want to squirm in my seat when one of my hero novelists reveals his screenwriting feet of clay?

Also, there didn't seem much emphasis on TV - a complaint of mine from last year. It all seemed to be about how to get your first film script made. Well, that's not me anymore. I'd love to get a film made, but I'm very happy with the steps I've made into television and could quite easily see myself having a happy screenwriting career without ever giving another thought to the cinema.

So, I decided to give it a rest this year.

But, as the event gets closer, and the rest of the programme firms up, I begin to wish I had the time. There's Barbara Machin (twice), Tony Jordan, Kay Mellor and Lucy Prebble. There's Jane Tranter and Laura Mackie. And there's David Lemon and David Bishop (worth the ticket price for these two alone!).

And Julian Fellowes, of course!

But there'll be no Paul Campbell this year. I hope it goes well. Hope the weather holds. Hope you all have fun.

See you in 2009.

In the Shed

2008-06-09T17:12:00.002+01:00

Well, here I am. Back in the shed. Plotting.

Friday went well. Met lots of nice people, and talked EastEnders. Had a chance to ask questions about my episode and think it through - it has some challenges, but, basically, it's a cracker.

Now I'm back in my shed in the garden trying to work out how it all needs to fit together, and how to make it fun to watch.

So far, so good.

Albert Square, here I come.

2008-06-03T13:00:00.001+01:00

I have a commissioning meeting on Friday for EastEnders.

Can't wait!

Casualty Casualty

2008-05-15T10:40:00.002+01:00

Regular readers will have noticed that I haven't been my usual chatty self when it comes to the Casualty commission.

Well, that's because it's been a bit of a nightmare! That's not to say it hasn't been a lot of fun too. But I have struggled to find my Casualty feet. It's been a big step up from half hour, stand-alone episodes of Doctors to fifty minutes of serial and guest stories involving complex medical stuff.

Anyway, after three and a half months of constant effort, the team down in Bristol finally decided that I needed some help. With less than five weeks to go before shooting starts, they still weren't happy with the script, so they have taken the understandable decision to hand it over to one of their more experienced core writers to get it up to scratch in time.

So, how do I feel about that?

Hmm. Obviously, I am terribly disappointed that my first attempt to write for this market has not been an outstanding success. And nobody likes to be rewritten (in fact, it's never happened to me before).

But, I have learnt so much in the last three and half months. And the team in Bristol have been really supportive. I don't blame them for this decision (I'm just surprised they didn't make it sooner!). And the silver lining is that they have invited me back to try again at the end of the year.

Something will be broadcast on 20 September. It will probably have my name on it. It might have someone else's name as well. It might, or might not, bear some resemblance to some of the stuff I've been writing all these months. We shall have to wait and see.

In the meantime, I suddenly have some free time. If only the weather hadn't turned, I could have been out there mowing the lawn and doing some weeding.

It has been a difficult time. Any job is hard when you know you're not delivering what the boss wants. But, for better or for worse, it is now over.

Roll on EastEnders. I have a commissioning meeting sometime early next month.

Good luck!

2008-05-13T10:05:00.003+01:00

If you've applied for the BBC Writers' Academy this year, good luck!

Let me know if you get invited to the workshop.

Academy Question

2008-05-07T21:18:00.003+01:00

James popped by and asked a question about the Academy workload and whether there was time to do anything else. I thought a few of you folks thinking of applying might be interested, so here goes...

All of us found last year that the workload during the initial 13 weeks of lectures leading up to Christmas was really heavy. Certainly it used up most of my available time. In addition to the lectures themselves we had a lot of written homework exercises. And we wrote four half hour dramas - an adaptation of a fairy tale, two dry runs at a Doctors episode and the real thing.

After Christmas we all had to wait different amounts of time before getting our first commissions. I had until the beginning of February. And there will be gaps over the course of the year between assignments. So, yes, there is time to do other stuff and/or earn some money, so long as you're flexible about dates.

So far, I've just done Casualty. It hasn't been an easy ride for me, but I have worked on it almost solidly for over three months now with hardly a day off. A better writer, or one who adapts more easily and quickly to the Casualty house style, wouldn't have found the workload so hard, but, even so, it's quite a lot of work with some tight deadlines. James Moran apart, I think most people would struggle to do any more than get the episode done. It might be different on EastEnders or Holby City, but I doubt it.

But, if you can find the time to write other stuff, then the Beeb don't frown upon it (so long as it doesn't prevent you completing your work with the Academy). The only thing to note is that there's a little bit in your contract which says that the Beeb have a first refusal on anything you write during your extended "year" in the Academy.

So, there you go, James. hope it doesn't put you off applying.

Deadline is this Monday, I believe.

Casualty Update

2008-05-03T10:13:00.003+01:00

Haven't posted for a while. You know what that means!

But, actually, things begin to look up. A bit.

I've just had notes back on my second draft (which was set in a hospital, but, otherwise, had almost nothing in common with the first draft). Promisingly, it looks as though the third draft might not need to be utterly, completely, totally different from its predecessor. Still a lot of changes required, of course, but not a complete reinvention.

I'd call that progress!

Sharps

2008-05-03T10:06:00.002+01:00

I'm probably the umpteenth person to Blog about this, but there's a new BBC writing opportunity up for grabs. It's called Sharps, and all the details are available over at the Writers' Room.

What they want - a 30 minute spec TV script exploring "the nation's health".

What they offer - a masterclass for the top twenty writers, then a week's residential course for the top 8, developing the idea, followed by a showcase presentation using professional actors (and £500 quid spending money).

When they want it - deadline, 16 June

Tonight - How to Write for the BBC

2008-04-24T13:45:00.004+01:00

The Writers' Guild are hosting a special session this evening with a host of BBC production talent, based round the theme of Moving From Long Running Series to Taking the Next Step

I know a lot of folks might be more interested in a session called Taking the Next Step Without Doing the Long Running Series First, but this might still be valuable stuff.

And for those of you with an interest in the Writers' Academy, this would be a chance to see what you'll be getting in the form of Mr John Yorke. And, Ms Ceri Meyrick will also be there, and she's the lady who organises the entry process (and everything else) - well worth getting to know.

And, I'll be there too. Just sitting in the audience mind.

THIS EVENING, Thurs 24th, 6:45 for 7pm
WGGB, 15-17 Britannia Street, London WC1X (near Kings Cross)

Following the success of the Guild event on long running BBC series last year, we're delighted to announce a sequel from John Yorke: 'Moving from Long Running Series to Taking The Next Step'

John Yorke is Controller of Drama Production Studios for the BBC and over the last three years, has been committed to putting writers back at the heart of EastEnders, Holby City and Casualty. He has also been responsible for introducing and implementing the new BBC Code of Conduct, in response to our members' complaints and suggestions about long running series.

We are pleased to announce that John will be accompanied by a cornucopia of BBC production talent. Members will be able to get advice from:

Hilary Salmon - Executive Producer, Drama Production. Hilary has Exec Produced some of BBC drama's most prestigious recent dramas including "Criminal Justice", "House of Saddam", "Five Days", Silent Witness", "Soundproof", "The Line Of Beauty", "The Long Firm", "Babyfather", "Nature Boy", "Gormenghast" and "Madame Bovary"

Claire Armspach - Producer, Waking The Dead. Claire also helped set up the writing team for BBC Scotland's "River City". Produced for "Holby City" and assistant produced "Rough Diamond" for World.

Ellen Taylor - Development Executive, Drama Production. Ellen has produced and written for "Casualty" and "Dream Team". Currently developing two new teen dramas for BBC3.

Ben Evans - Exec Producer with special responsibility for BBC 4. Ben Exec Produced the recent BBC4 "Curse of Comedy" season and also produced "Frankie Howerd: Rather You Than me", "Most Sincerely: Hughie Green". Also produced "Fear of Fanny" and "Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!" for BBC4.

Ceri Meyrick - Producer. Ceri runs the BBC Drama Writers Academy and other Training Academies for Directors, Scripts Editors, Producers and other writers' schemes.

This is a golden opportunity to speak to the powers-that-be of the TV industry. Please come along and join us. This can be just what your career needs.

The event will once again be chaired by Gail Renard, Chair of the WGGB TV Committee.

Tickets for this event will be £5 for Guild members and £7.50 for non-members. If you would like to book for this event, please email moe@writersguild.org.uk or call the Guild office on 0207 833 0777.

Guess the Show...

2008-04-24T10:03:00.003+01:00

"At a time when science-fiction shows often discard good storytelling for overblown visual effects - and following the lead of Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica - the time is ripe for a revival of a show that represents the best traditions of the genre" - Elaine Pyke, Commissioning Editor, Sky One, quoted in Broadcast.

She's just commissioned two scripts for a potential series.

My Very Own Casualty - nearly

2008-04-16T22:36:00.002+01:00

OK. Been a bit quiet here on Scriptuality recently. Let's just say that when I'm doing really well I like to crow about it. Well, why not?

So, a silent Blog speaks volumes. Casualty is proving a tough nut to crack.

But enough of that. Let me tell you about what happened to me today (because a bit of procrastination never did anyone any harm).

I had a Casualty script meeting here in Bromley because my lovely script editor kindly agreed to come here instead of me going all the way down to Bristol again. Twenty minutes after our intriguing discussions about the need for a completely new B story came to a conclusion, I was walking home through the leafy suburban streets of Bromley when I heard an enormous bang. Actually, make that an enormous BANG ! ! !

I looked up to see a car cartwheeling down the middle of the street. The underside was facing me - you know, the bit that's meant to be right down there near the road. It was vertical. And bouncing. And sort of twisting. And coming in my direction.

Well, OK, maybe not directly my direction. And I could see that the extra energy it had got from bouncing off that tree was beginning to run out. It was never going to get as far as me. Probably. Right before it fell, exhausted, back down onto what was left of its wheels, it kinked a tad to the right and ended up ten yards from me in the middle of the road, a write-off. The other car, also written off, was 30 yards ahead of me where the driver had been trying to pull out before she was hit.

Everyone was OK. Minor bruise for the cartwheeler, abrasions on face and arm from the airbag for the girl in the other car. But she was well shaken up. He was too, but he put on a good show. And there's me, first on the scene, running from one to the other checking them out, doing the reassuring bit while others called emergency services etc. We ended up with three fire engines, two ambulances and a police car. All very exciting.

For a brief moment I thought I had a brand new B story. But, truth to tell, it wouldn't have cut the mustard. Just like the rest of my stories.

Broadcast TV Drama Forum: Part II

2008-04-10T08:52:00.003+01:00

OK, so my report on the Drama Forum wasn't exactly detailed.

Well, if you go here, you'll find videocasts of the entire day.

Go see.

It's even got the bits where the commissioners for all the main channels tell you what they're looking for.

TV Drama Forum

2008-04-01T20:54:00.003+01:00

JB has reminded me that I haven't reported back on the TV Drama Forum organised by Broadcast.

So, here's a quick report.

It was a good day. Loads of interesting speakers with loads of interesting stuff to say. In particular, I got to:-

- have coffee with Barbara Machin;
- humiliate myself by not knowing who Ben Stephenson was when he was introduced to me(Head of Drama Commissioning for BBC Vision, for those not in the know);
- admire the height of Russell T Davies;
- hear what the commissioners for BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Five and Sky want next (but I'm not telling!);
- hear what they don't want (might tell, but might lie), and
- generally enjoy not slaving away on my Casualty script for a day.

It was too expensive (more than £550), but I applied to SkillSet for a grant and they paid 80% of the cost for me to attend (Cheers, SkillSet! - I wonder if they would pay for Cheltenham too). It didn't need to be in a plush hotel in the middle of London, and the food didn't need to be quite so fancy. But maybe the snob value helped attract some of the speakers - who am I to tell Broadcast that a sell-out gig was too expensive?

It certainly opened my eyes to the business side of TV drama. Sometimes it's too easy to forget that one of the reasons we are able to continue to write is in order to entertain in order for someone somewhere to make money.

The BBC Drama Writers' Academy

2008-03-31T09:07:00.004+01:00

I've just discovered that the BBC have linked to this Blog. Suddenly I feel all official. And like I ought to take it a bit more seriously.

The Beeb are just getting their promotional campaign going for the 2008 Drama Writers' Academy. My guess is that the official announcement will be out shortly.

And, under "more information", they've linked to me here.

So, if you've come searching for advice on whether or not to apply, I suppose I'd better oblige.

If you click down there on the lower right hand side where it says "BBC Writers' Academy" (or click here if that's easier), you'll get everything wot I ever wrote about it. Slide down to the bottom and you'll get me prattling on about how I think I'll apply this year, and follow me up through the application process and the course until I get my shiny certificate saying I can write drama.

If you click on "Doctors" or "Casualty", you'll get stuff on writing for those two shows.

Or you can just stay here and listen while I go on and on about how wonderful the Academy is and how, if you do nothing else this year to progress your writing career, you really ought to apply.

I don't suppose it's for everyone. The travel's difficult if you're not based in London or can't find a spare room to crash in. And, there is absolutely no point trying to blag your way onto the course if you don't enjoy the shows you'll be writing for.

If you're currently earning a significant wage, then the prospect giving it up and of earning about £25k for 15 months' work, might not seem very enticing. But, if TV drama is what you want to do, then £25k is a lot better than a kick in the teeth. And if you're a struggling playwright selling your body each night in order to keep going, then I guess £25k is rather a pleasant prospect!

One other bug bear - they don't give you very much notice between telling you you're in and when the course starts, so you might have a problem giving enough notice to your employer.

OK, enough caveats. Why don't I just gush?

My advice to everyone is go for it. Just do it. It is the most absolutely fantastic opportunity. John Yorke actually runs it himself. Two days a week you get lectures from 09:30 until 18:00, personally by him. Then Wednesday's a writing day. Thursday is guest lectures from people that John knows - and John knows everybody! And on Friday you each get an hour-long slot for a one-on-one tutorial with him. It's his pet project. And you do this for 13 weeks.

And the course itself is excellent. John is fanatical about a certain style of writing and a five act structure. But he's equally adamant that there are other ways to do it too - he's up for discussion and argument every step of the way (and, believe me, we argued). Basically, we all had a complete ball.

After the classroom, you get those three commissions over the course of the next year under the personal supervision of series editors or executive producers. That's where I am at the moment - in up over my head in the murky Avon waters of Casualty. I do EastEnders in the Summer and Holby City at the end of the year, assuming I survive Casualty.

After that there are no promises. This is the fourth year that the scheme has run. Most of the first lot are now full-time writers on one or other of the shows. Some are core writers. The second lot have just finished their three commissions and seem headed the same way. My lot are in the midst of the real writing right now (and it's a wonderful nightmare!)

And, if you don't want to write for the soaps, we had Tony Jordan in to speak to us. He said he's watching the episodes as they come out, and that he's just waiting to steal the best of us from under John's nose.

So, the opportunities are just beyond belief. I'm not even going to tell you what an EastEnders core writer can earn, cos you won't believe me!

Sorry! I get very evangelical about it.

But, if you can find a way (and if you get through the interviews etc), then it's got to be the biggest opportunity in British screenwriting.

See you on the other side.

Casualty progress report

2008-03-26T09:42:00.002Z

I haven't blogged about this for a while, because it's been a bit frustrating.

It took me a long, long time to produce story proposals which the team down in Bristol were happy with. I pitched about ten stories altogether (or variations on stories) over a period of about a month, packaged in three different proposals for how to deal with my particular episode.

By the time we had all agreed on which two guest stories I would use (and how they would fit into the the overall structure and mesh with the ongoing serial elements), we were about three weeks behind schedule. And the thing about the Casualty schedule is that the end date doesn't change - they will be shooting this episode from the 14th to the 27th of June, and they will be broadcasting it on 20th September. So, three weeks behind is not a good place to be.

But we did finally agree, and I sat down to write the Treatment. It seemed to go quite well, and I sent it off just before Easter.

So, yesterday I went down to Bristol to discuss the medical aspects of the script with my ever so friendly and helpful Emergency Medicine Doc. And to find out what they thought of the Treatment.

The medicine was good - no major changes required to what I was proposing.

And the news on the Treatment was even better. I haven't got the detailed notes back yet, but they're all agreed that I can go straight to the first draft of the screenplay rather than produce another version of the treatment (which is the norm). This means that we are almost back on schedule. Or, rather, we will be if I can produce the script on time.

Better get on with it.

If You Don't Ask...

2008-03-17T20:45:00.002Z

There's a "TV Drama Forum" coming up on 27 March, organised by the folks behind Broadcast magazine. It costs a bucket-full of cash for just one day of listening and mingling (£527.58, to be precise). But it looks really good. Speakers include:

• Andrew Davies , Screenwriter
• Russell T Davies , Writer and Executive Producer
• Luke Alkin, Acting Head of Drama, Channel 4
• Eileen Gallagher, Chief Executive, Shed Media plc
• Sally Haynes, Controller of Drama Commissioning, ITV
• Dominic Minghella, Founder, plainvanilla
• Ashley Pharoah, Joint MD, Monastic Productions
• Nicola Shindler, Chief Executive, Red Production Company
• Ben Stephenson, Head of Drama Commissioning, BBC Vision

Very nice. But not really affordable for a lowly scribe stuck on the bottom rung of the ladder. Unless...

... unless a Skillset Film Futures bursary pays for 80% of it. And it does. Hurray!

"To me!" "To you!" "To me!" "To you!"

2008-03-01T16:42:00.004Z

Do you remember, a couple of posts back, how I pitched my ideas for Casualty and "passed".

Well, it was all an illusion. I'm back to the drawing board, looking for guest stories to go alongside the serial element already provided by the team down in Bristol.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Everyone's watched Casualty. You've all played the game - guess the victim. Who's going to get it in the neck, and with what nasty pointed piece of apparently innocent street furniture?

Of course, amongst us professionals (ahem) it's all more serious than that. We're looking for the human drama between the victim and those they love, live and work with. And we're looking for some kind of resonance with what's going on in the lives of our doctors, nurses and paramedics (without being too corny). The incident itself (the "stunt") is simply the thing which propels them into the story.

But it's the stunt I have the most trouble with.

Have you ever seen Chucklevision? Why is it that every stunt I think of sounds like the mishaps of the Chuckle Brothers? Those of you with young kids will know what I mean.

This is meant to be serious drama, and all I can come up with are pratfalls.

A few questions...

2008-02-25T08:54:00.003Z

Jon, over at A Slight Case of Overbombing, has been asking himself some questions. I thought I'd try answering them too.

• Why did you start blogging and why do you continue? I started as an incentive to make myself work. I don't think I ever believed anyone else would read it, but I though that if I were forced to make a public confession every day of how much (or how little) I'd written, then I might write more. Now, I blog from time for a variety of reasons:

- it's therapy, getting stuff clear in my own mind by writing about it

- it's chat. The Blogosphere is like a staffroom, and every now and again it's polite to join in the conversation.

- it's a record. It's a diary which I look back on from time to time.

- it's a trumpet. Every now and again, if things go well, I like to blow my own trumpet.

- it's a news source. There are a few people out there (friends and relatives) who get to find out what I'm up to by reading the blog.

• How do you decide what to blog about? It's pretty random.

• Do you write straight out or pre-plan what you’re going to write? Straight out, but I'm a writer, so it's never completely stream of consciousness.

• Do you censor yourself? Yes. It's like speaking in public, and it's hard enough in this business making friends, so I don't want to make enemies. Also, I never mention individuals by name - I wouldn't want anybody who I work with to have to worry about seeing themselves mentioned in my blog.

So, now you know.

Yesterday

2008-02-13T10:17:00.003Z

Well, the Planning meeting was a lot of fun. It makes you feel like a real insider, knowing exactly what's coming up over the next six to eight months.

And the Commissioning meeting was fun too, though a bit scary. They're a very positive, supportive, ambitious, creative bunch of folks. I can't report back to you all that they loved my ideas - there was no spontaneous round of applause as I revealed my wonderful new storylines. But they didn't laugh. They didn't ask whether I had any other, different, ideas. And they came up with lots of useful thoughts (as well as some genuine issues which I'm going to have to address if the idea's going to work).

So, I passed. Just (I think).

Now I have to prove that I was right and that they were right to trust me to get it right.

Me, Nervous?

2008-02-11T10:06:00.000Z

Just a bit.

My first ever commissioning meeting tomorrow.

Casualty. For real.

There's a Planning meeting in the morning with a whole bunch of people to discuss the overall arc of the serial story over the first 12 episodes of Casualty Season 23. That'll be fine - listen carefully, try to make a few wise comments and suggestions, don't make a fool of myself.

But, in the afternoon, three of us stay behind to pitch our ideas for how we're going to handle our particular episodes. That means we need to have guest stories worked out, and an overall approach to how we're going to tell our chunk of serial. I'm prepared. I know what I want to do.

But, what if they don't like it?

20 September 2008

2008-02-01T21:24:00.000Z

I've just had the paperwork through.

My first episode of Casualty will be broadcast (fingers crossed) on 20 September.

And I know what happens! Well, I know what the powers-that-be have decided will be happening amongst the regular cast members (and it's exciting stuff, let me tell you). All I've got to do now is come up with some guest stories and accidents to go with it.

And then write it.

Easy really.

It all kicks off

2008-01-23T10:21:00.000Z

Tuesday 12 February.

That's the day I head down to Bristol for the two meetings which will kick off my commission for Casualty.

In the morning the 11 writers who will be writing the first quarter of season 23 will gather with a whole bunch of Casualty people to hear the plans for the overall story arc over those 12 episodes and to discuss it.

Then, in the afternoon, I'll have my commissioning meeting for episode 4, together with the writers of episodes 3 and 5. This is where I have to come up with the original ideas for guest stories (there's still time to get back to me with tales of gruesome accidents - please!).

I think I'm prepared:
- I've done the Academy course
- I've stayed two days in an A&E Department to see what they get up to
- I've visited the Casualty set (twice)
- I've talked to the Casualty script and story teams
- I've got a notebook full of potential ideas
- I've watched every episode of Casualty since the beginning of 2007
- I've watched sample scenes of the new characters who haven't appeared on screen yet
- I've read the serial story outline up until the end of the present series
- I've got the series Bible and read it cover to cover
- I've watched and analysed episodes of ER, House and Greys Anatomy
- I've read four recent sample scripts from Casualty
- I've got a new office and a new computer
- (and I'm a little bit scared)

Now, let me at it!

Jet Packs and Such

2008-01-14T13:10:00.000Z

New Year. New Blog. Good Bloke.

This Year

2008-01-01T11:28:00.000Z

I'm keeping things simple for 2008.

1. I will write my commissioned episodes of Casualty, EastEnders and Holby City.

2. I will do them as well as I can.

3. I will get commissioned to do more of the same in 2009.

4. If possible, I will also write a spec screenplay, probably a feature.

5. I will eat sensibly.

6. I will drink plenty of fluids.

7. I will commence and maintain some kind of exercise regime.

8. I will be a good husband and father.

9. I will be happy.

So, here's to you all, and here's to a fun 2008!

Last Year

2008-01-01T11:10:00.000Z

2007 was a good year.

My first ever TV drama broadcast (an episode of Doctors). My second episode commissioned, written, produced and broadcast. And I get in to the BBC Writers' Academy.

Now for the official tally against my 2007 objectives...

1. Inundate the BBC with story ideas for Doctors, so that they have no excuse for not giving me more commissions. Not exactly an inundation... 0.25 points.

2. ... get at least three more commissions for Doctors over the course of the year. Well, I got one. 0.33 points

3. Apply for (and be accepted into) the BBC Writers' Academy. Yep. 1 point

4. ... and, as a result, get at least one commission for Eastenders, Holby City or Casualty.Yep. All three. 3 points.

5. Get my radio play commissioned by BBC 4 for The Afternoon Play. Nope. 0 points.

6. Get at least half a dozen TV series ideas to my agent, and have her hawk them around the industry. Pathetic. One idea sent to BBC. 0.16 points.

7. ... and get at least one meeting out of the process. Nope. 0 points.

8. Go to the Cheltenham Screenwriting Festival again. Not exactly difficult, this one. 1 easy point.

9. If the Film Council ever get around to running another 25 Words or Less, apply for it and (this time) win the £10,000 (rather than just getting within sniffing distance*). They did, but I didn't get around to entering (I was busy). 0 points.

10. If the UKFC don't run the scheme again, work up at least one feature film concept, write the opening ten pages and get my agent to hawk it around (including to the Film Council). Errr... well, OK. Guilty as charged. A resounding 0 points.

11. Make some money from writing. Yep. Not a fortune, but enough to get by for the moment whilst waiting for better things. 1 point.

12. Have fun. I could really cheat here and give myself buckets of points. I think it's worth at least three. 3 points.

Which gives me a grand total of NINE AND THREE QUARTERS out of TWELVE.

Hurrah!

Not sure about this...

2007-12-18T17:24:00.000Z

The Casualty team have arranged for me to observe in an Emergency Department on Thursday.

I'm not too good when it comes to blood and stuff. And, of course, there's always the potential that it gets worse than that. With real people.

I'm sort of looking forward to it. But I'm very apprehensive. And really quite nervous.

And now the fun begins...

2007-12-14T14:13:00.000Z

We've finished. Look, I've even got a certificate to prove it...

After all the fuss recently, I half expected some sub-masonic ritual on the final day during which John Yorke personally tattooed a discreet gridmark # on my right buttock. Instead, we had a few drinks, swore eternal friendship, had a few more drinks and staggered home. Leastways, I was staggering and I did get home. I don't yet know how everyone else felt and whether they all got home or not.

Now comes the tricky part. Sometime in the middle of February I'll get my commission for Casualty. No fancy certificate's going to help me then.

The BBC Writers' Academy - Love it or hate it?

2007-12-01T22:11:00.001Z

Regular readers will know that I am rather pleased with myself for being part of the BBC Writers' Academy 2007.

And I think the Academy is rather a good thing.

But is it just good because it's good for me? What if you are trying to get into TV writing and you're not one of the eight chosen each year? What if you're an established writer who feels hounded out by these uppity new Academy writers who have John Yorke's personal stamp of approval?

There's a new blog in town. It's anonymous. And I don't hold that against them. The TV screenwriters behind it clearly feel that the Academy (and a whole lot more of what goes on in BBC Drama) is pushing out the old "comfortable" writers in favour of the new (like me) without thinking through the consequences. And for no reason other than some twisted, desperately wrong-headed, misapplication of what John and others are trying to achieve.

Is this true? Is this the way it's working out there in the real world?

Or are the authors of the new blog just old, crusty, bad writers who have finally been given the heave ho and are a bit peeved as a result?

I really don't know.

Have a read of what they're saying over on "Inside Story". In particular, take a glance at the Blog post called Swimming Lessons and the comments (mainly mine) which follow.